Running on Overwhelm

Friday Happynings

Back in the early 2000s, I was investing in real estate. I had a few rental houses and they all required some sort of rehab. My final project was a four-plex that needed a lot of work. A LOT. And, as usual, I was trying to get it all done on borrowed money and borrowed time. My mom’s condo flooded while she was away and I ran the restoration on that at the same time. I had also been working some deals with a partner who never seemed to have the money to pay me but was living pretty high on the hog himself. My rehab funds were running out, work needed to be inspected for the next round of money to be released, and then the bottom fell out of the market.

Good times.

I can remember a number of times, lying awake at night, with ALL THE THINGS swirling in my head like an endlessly running toilet. This would go on for a few days and then… magically, the swirling would stop. I slept. I could deal. I had leveled up to the current stress level, the new normal.

Until the next time things got overwhelming and the cycle would start again.

Everyone has times when the noise of life hits 11 on the dial and it is all too much.

In the US (I don’t know how people in other countries deal with this), running on overwhelm is almost a badge of honor, sometimes turning into a competition or bragging rights.

No, people.

Just NO.

Work Overwhelm

I realized last night that I was in a cycle of work overwhelm and I had to take a step back and recognize the fact that I am trying to pack three days of work into every day. I have two clients whose books are in final stages and there’s a lot of back and forth with the cover and formatting company.

In addition, one of those client’s books became two books, so a project that should have been finished a month ago became two projects that are ongoing. Even though this stage of the project work literally doubled, I realized that I was putting pressure on myself by holding onto the idea that the book should have been out the door by now. There was no way in hell that book (over 200,000 words) could have been separated coherently into two books, with an additional cover, additional rounds of editing and checks, and reformatting and still be completed in the original time frame. The client certainly didn’t expect it to be. But somewhere in my head, I’ve been holding onto that original finish date and feeling like the project was behind schedule. It’s not. The schedule changed. And really, he wrote two books in the time he planned to write one which means he is WAY ahead of schedule for his next book. (Which I’m pretty sure makes me an awesome book coach…)

Along with my client work, I am trying to finish up a novella by the end of (checks notes) last year. Every month since October I have had “Finish novella” on my to-do list. I’m feeling hopeful on that one…

And once I finish that I can go back to the book that I was writing when I realized I needed to have the novella as a lead magnet for this new series.

Also the book in the other series that was supposed to be done a year ago.

And there’s a half hour video I need to get into final edits and to an online magazine for an event they’re holding at the end of the month.

And oh yeah, I’m heading off to Ireland next week for a publishing conference. The swallows keep attempting to build their nests on my balcony and I spend time every day acting as a human scarecrow because all the “go away swallows” tricks that people use here really don’t work. (Though I am VERY hopeful about the shiny, metallic thingie I am putting up today.)

The refrigerator leaks every time I do a load of laundry (vibrations from the washing machine?) and the landlord is charming but not good about getting repair people in, even though the fridge is under warranty.

There’s a slight drip under the sink which is currently being handled by a plastic bowl but really needs looking after and one night I heard a loud bang, got out of bed and checked the source: One of the hinges on the sink cabinet door had given out for no apparent reason and you know what?

Some days it is All. Too. Much.

And let’s not forget that we may be in the early stages of World War III.

Also, I need to lose 20 pounds and while I can fit into my dress for the “gala dinner” at the conference, I look like my frumpy Grammy Maloon and I really miss having a waistline. I also can’t remember where I put the pantyhose I bought yesterday and I don’t have the right shoes and do you think red cowboy boots would look cool or weird with a Calvin Klein little black dress?

And remind me to take a picture of the gas meter before I leave because my gas bill is double what it should be and I need to see if it changes while I’m gone because I’m pretty sure there’s a leak although I can’t smell anything and I’m hoping the apartment doesn’t explode with or without me in it.

And you know what?

The video will be done by Monday. In three weeks’ time, the client books will be done. There’s a VERY good chance the novella will be done. I’ve figured out what to do with the cabinet door and while I have it off its hinges I can fix that leak. I’ll have gone to and returned from Ireland and come back with seventeen new ideas I’ll want to put into action.

Close the Tabs

We live life with way too many tabs open all the time

The truth is, most of the time the overwhelm isn’t coming from life itself. It’s coming from the running commentary in our heads about how our life should be. The voice in your head insisting that everything should already be done, finished, published, fixed, cleaned, repaired, scheduled, packed, and color-coordinated.

But life doesn’t work that way.

Projects multiply. Timelines change. Cabinet hinges fall off for no apparent reason. (Like, WTF?) Swallows attempt hostile takeovers of your balcony. You fix what you can, put a bowl under the drip, and keep going.

You deal with what’s in front of you, one thing at a time.

And eventually the mental noise will quiet down, the way it always does when your brain levels up to the new normal.

So today I’m closing a few tabs in my brain. Not all of them—let’s be real—but a few. And that’s good enough for a Friday.

Cheers,

Barbara

PS: The jury is still out on whether red cowboy boots work with a Calvin Klein little black dress, but desperate times may call for bold fashion choices.